Cancer Kinda Sucks...

My mediport was removed today without any complications. I’ve been told to avoid lifting anything over 10 pounds for the next few days, but otherwise, everything should heal well—leaving just a small scar as a reminder. One week from today, I have my final appointment. And one week from tomorrow… I board a plane and head home!

Blood work came back, and thankfully, my kidneys are cooperating. My taste buds are still off—more missing than present—but I’ve started to figure out what works with what I’ve got. It’s been nice to finally enjoy a few meals again. Next Monday, I’ll have surgery to remove my mediport. The following Monday will be my final appointment with the radiation oncologist. Then, on Tuesday the 17th, I’ll be up bright and early to catch a flight home. I haven’t seen my wife and kids since I said goodbye on January 21st. That moment is finally within reach.

  This week brought a wave of great news! My blood work came back clear—no signs of my specific cancer. The CT scan showed that my lymph nodes have returned to a normal size. Even better, my white blood cell counts are up, and I’m no longer considered immunocompromised. I’ve got a few more appointments before I can head home to be with my family, but everything is moving in the right direction!

Last week’s appointments and checkups brought good news—everything went well. There’s no visible sign of the mass anymore, which suggests that the treatment has been effective. My throat is gradually healing, and I’m finding it easier to talk, eat, and drink—slowly but surely, things are getting back to normal in that regard. However, my sense of taste is still completely gone. With no appetite to speak of, eating remains a challenge, and most meals end in disappointment. That said, I’m starting to adjust. I’ve begun making myself eat, even though the enjoyment of flavor just isn’t there. It’s more about nourishment now than pleasure, but I’m adapting. There’s not a lot more to share right now, but I just wanted to give a quick update—things are going well, and I’m feeling encouraged by the progress so far.

Thank you to everyone who’s reached out with concern—I know I’ve been unusually quiet. I truly appreciate you checking in; honestly, I’d probably do the same if the roles were reversed. For those who’ve given me space, trusting that I’d speak up when I was ready, I’m grateful for you too. The purpose of this blog has always been to put my thoughts in one place, so we can all stay on the same page. But over the past couple of weeks, the problem is… I haven’t really known what I think or feel.  Hence the title... Type... Erase... I miss home. I miss my wife. I miss Emily, Aya, and Thomas. I miss the rhythm of normal life—sleeping through the night, having routines, feeling grounded. I just want things to go back to normal as soon as possible. The hardest part? None of this is in my hands. What stands between me and my family? Tomorrow, I meet with the radiation oncologist. I assume I’ll be scoped, and then I’ll find out if he thinks the past nine weeks of hell were effective. H...

  I've been told there's a wall that everyone hits. Some crash into it in week three, others much later—but few escape it entirely. For me, that wall came on what was supposed to be a day of celebration: My last day of radiation. The final treatment. I had imagined joy. Relief. Maybe even a breath of freedom. Instead, it marked the beginning of the bleeding. Heavy bleeding. Every cough, every sneeze, even a simple spit—blood. My throat felt like it was on fire. Even water—just water—was too much. One bottle would last me two days, each sip a painful, drawn-out battle. I couldn’t bring myself to update the blog. Not because I didn’t want to share—but because all I had in me was darkness. And yet, even in that darkness, I knew it would get better. I just didn’t know when. My spirit was worn thin, my body weaker by the day. No food, no calories, just survival. Each moment was a quiet endurance. ------ The past few days have brought about little victories. I have f...